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You may ask, then, what you should do if the person you are with starts gossiping about somebody else. You should certainly not just sit and listen. By doing so, you become complicit in this indiscretion. While you may not be doing the gossiping yourself, by listening to it you are using other people’s problems for your personal recreation.

However, I don’t advocate that you criticise your date for their poor behaviour either. One of the rules of dating is never to come across as judgmental or employ a ‘holier- than-thou’ attitude. If your date tries to draw you into a gossipy conversation, smile wryly and change the subject. Show them subtly that you want to talk about something else. Possibly your date will want to know about a specific person against whom you have a known grudge. If you feel the matter is important enough to warrant discussion, then do so, but put a positive ’spin’ on the conversation.

So, for instance, if you are talking about your college roommate who chopped up your pet hamster, say something like, ‘Yes, he did hurt me (and poor Hammie). But then, he did have a difficult childhood in those Siberian salt mines. I’m sure deep down he has many good qualities.’

Don’t tell your date about the contract you took out on the guy’s life. Let her admire your good spirit. Maybe she’ll even pay the bill.

But even not joining in is not enough. Make sure that when you decline to gossip, you do so in a way that shows unequivocally that you have nothing negative to say about the person in question. If you are asked whether you think a certain woman is promiscuous, don’t say, ‘No comment’ while pumping your hand in the air and raising your eyebrows suggestively. Insinuation is a powerful mode of communication. Don’t try hair-splitting with the definition of gossip. If what you have said or done damages someone’s reputation, then you have gossiped, and broken the Ninth Commandment. End of story.