Guilt is a feeling of self-blame. How can adult children blame themselves for having certain obligations to their family or for harbouring feelings of irritation which they’ve had for twenty- five years or more towards their parent? Feelings are neither good nor bad, they are facts. It is a fact that you feel A or B for your parent. Read more »
Do you feel guilty towards parents?
January 15, 2010What about the parent who has sacrificed a life for her/his child, and the child abandons the parent?
January 15, 2010“Sacrificed a life“! Weighty words indeed. What do they mean? Sacrifice means to “give up” — but has this parent given up a life for a child? Or has the parent devoted his/her life to the child? I would assume that the latter is what is meant. Unfortunately, this does happen. Unfortunately, because the parent has denied himself/herself a balanced life. A parent cannot live through a child — she/he has her/his own to lead. Read more »
Why old(er) people are not like children continued
December 13, 2009Older people and children are often sick
As a basic principle we should not ascribe any deterioration in health to a specific age group. We have been brainwashed for years to believe that children are forever vomiting, teething, snivelling or running temperatures, while older people have arthritis, fragile bones, stiffness, as well as poor sight and hearing.
Anyone of any age may fall ill or have an accident, but we all get over it. The chances of recovery does not depend on our age, but on: Read more »
Why old(er) people are not like children
December 13, 2009It is often said that older people are like children. There is as much truth in that as there is in saying the moon is square.
I think what is really meant, is that older people sometimes react in ways that seem irrational — and this is equated with the reactions of children. It is often not understood what caused certain reactions. You cannot deduce from your frame of reference what prompted certain behaviours, so you simply say to an elderly parent: “You’re acting like a child.” I would like to prove that old(er) people are not like children. Read more »
Why is my parent/my child only difficult with me and not with others?
December 13, 2009How often have I heard that said! Parents were astounded when I said little Jack was no problem to teach – in fact, a pleasure to have in the class. I was assured that that was not the case at home. Little Jack was difficult, rude, disobedient. Read more »
Marriage Doubts
December 4, 2009Marriage is like a cage; the birds outside are desperate to get in, and those inside equally desperate to get out.
Unlived life is a destructive and irresistible force working quietly but relentlessly. The result is that the married woman begins to doubt marriage. The unmarried woman believes in it, because she desires marriage. Read more »
Happily Married
November 28, 2009No man is so virtuous as to marry a wife only to have children.
To the contract of marriage, besides the man and wife, there is a third party — Society; and, if it be considered as a vow — GOD: and, therefore, it cannot be dissolved by their consent alone. Read more »
Elderly Parent Social losses
November 23, 2009The emotional world of the elderly parent is continually threatened with impoverishment by the loss of siblings, friends and spouse. These losses are compounded by the loss of social functions. Loss of a familiar world and its bonds and loss of recognition aggravate the situation. These losses hurt far more than the pain endured by arthritics for instance. Read more »
Parent lives too far from me
November 23, 2009No doubt the parent hasn’t complained, but you find the distance too great.
Let me point out what relocation means to the elderly and then assess whether it is worth it. Relocation has an enormously unsettling effect on the aged. Considerable statistical evidence has been accumulated that shows a connection between the relocation and institutionalising of the aged and an increase in their death rate. The elderly do need a sense of security, but while an institution provides for their physical needs, it can rob them of a sense of purpose. Read more »
Why Girls Love Guys, Five Reasons to go Continued
November 20, 2009Because they hurt when we hurt.
When something bad happens in our lives, our female friends are always good for commiseration and advice. “That stinks,” they’ll nod sympathetically. Or, “You should just march in there and give her a piece of your mind,” they’ll say indignantly. When you tell a guy about the latest trauma in your life, he might not be so adept with the hand-holding and the counseling. But most of the women we talked to agreed that men, more than women, feel other people’s pain. Where they’re lacking in sympathy, they usually make up for in empathy. Read more »
