It is easier to dodge a woman‘s resistant feelings and not feel blamed if a man remembers that her feelings are not permanent and that she is just trying them on for size. If he argues with her, she will become defensive. Having to protect herself prevents her from getting immediately to the place where [...]
Posts Tagged ‘wife’
Bottom Line Advice for Men to Support a Woman
February 25, 2009Remember, if a woman doesn’t have to focus on getting a man to listen to her, she can do what is most natural for her—talking and shifting her own attitude. To support her in feeling more loving and accepting, here is some bottom-line advice for men:
My husband not talks to me
February 18, 2009If a woman wants to talk with someone, she generally waits for her turn. It is her way of being polite. She either listens for a while and then begins to talk, or waits until the other person asks her about her day. These unspoken rules are foreign to most men. If a woman waits [...]
Ease Marital Conflicts continued
January 17, 2009Withdrawing A particularly foul method of fighting is to say nothing, to withdraw in silence. This is a very loud silence that permeates every aspect of home life. It is not unusual for me as counsellor to hear of husbands who don’t talk to their wives for days on end. When their partners beg them [...]
Ease Marital Conflicts
January 17, 2009Smooth-talking All of the above techniques represent the direct-attack approach to getting one’s own way. There are however, more subtle forms of manipulation that can be extremely effective. One of them is a smooth tongue. Probably the most common form is open flattery. A man invites some friends home for dinner and only tells his [...]
Marital Attacks: Foul fighting; Reasoning; Kitbagging; Blaming; Criticism; Ridiculing continued
January 17, 2009Kitbagging Here one partner has an imaginary kitbag. Every little injury, every little offence, every little hurt is carefully stored in the kitbag. At the time nothing much is said. The person who uses this technique usually suffers in silence — until the kitbag is full. Then when the next disagreement occurs (and usually it’s [...]
Irrational Thoughts and Intense Arguments
January 16, 2009A young trainee manager complained bitterly about his immediate boss, because he was being given far too much responsibility. He thought that his boss was simply “passing the buck” and he obviously felt resentful. When pointed out to him that this was actually an indication of the high regard that his boss had for his [...]
Marriage, let’s Resolve Our Differences
November 24, 2008When both partners have expressed their desires explicitly in terms of outcome, the stage is set for the discussion of any differences. To ensure a win/win approach during this phase, the couple must stick rigidly to the “we versus it” approach, as opposed to the “you versus me” approach. The “we versus it” approach implies [...]
How well do you really know your partner? Rate your understanding
November 18, 2008Most of us would prefer to be understood, rather than to understand, for real understanding requires hard work, determination and patience — and it is a never-ending task. When intimate communication dies, the relationship dies — and when the relationship dies, we too die, as individuals. For instance, case histories have shown that infants who [...]
Enrich our Marriages, Telling it like it is part 2
November 13, 2008Report emotions immediately Our emotional problems do not stem from the fact that we experience them, but from the fact that we act on them. It is one thing to feel disappointed, quite another to walk round the house sulking for several days. It’s one thing to experience anxiety about the safety of your school-going [...]
