Time and again I have had a distraught husband or wife tell me that they no longer communicate with their partners. What they mean is that they no longer take the time to share their hopes and fears, their joys and their frustrations. Two days ago Beverley sat in my study and cried, because after 9 years of marriage she could no longer get through to her husband. Every time she pleaded with him to “talk things over” he would promise her that he would do so, “but not right now”. Yet this same couple used to share so much together in the early years of their marriage. Now they only communicate frustration, resentment and blame. Their experience is fairly typical of a great number of marriages. Somehow the high level of communication that characterises the courtship begins to decline — for some more rapidly than for others. Read the rest of this entry »
Posts Tagged partners
Couple Barriers to Gut-level Communication continued
Fear of upsetting my partner
Sometimes we refrain from communicating what we really feel because we’re afraid it may hurt or upset our partners. We think that its heroic to “suffer in silence”. Sometimes it is confused with the biblical injunction to “bear your own burdens” or “to be the least”. A wife may feel that she’s expected to keep quiet when she doesn’t agree with her husband’s plan of action, because she doesn’t want to upset him. But that is not submission at all. The Bible tells us clearly to “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). Keeping silent for fear of upsetting our partners can be very harmful. Read the rest of this entry »
