Like a complex machine with a lot of moving parts, communication can break down for many reasons. Each of these reasons has a remedy, but you have to know enough about the machine and its parts to spot the problem and get some glimmer of an idea how to fix it.
Posts Tagged ‘partner’
Breaking Down the Breakdowns
September 2, 2009On the same Sexual Wavelength
May 5, 2009The battle of the sexes is often fought and lost by both sides in the bedroom. Making love is an unequalled way of touching the depths of your soul, merging with the oneness of the divine and experiencing the bliss that is your birthright. Couples can miss out on the wonder and possibilities of sexual [...]
What Happens When Men Open Up
February 3, 2009When a man opens up more than his mate, he can actually block her from feminine feelings. When a man begins to talk more, share more, and need more in a relationship than she, the woman actually begins to pull away and begins talking less, sharing less, and needing less.
Ease Marital Conflicts continued
January 17, 2009Withdrawing
A particularly foul method of fighting is to say nothing, to withdraw in silence. This is a very loud silence that permeates every aspect of home life. It is not unusual for me as counsellor to hear of husbands who don’t talk to their wives for days on end. When their partners beg them to [...]
Marital Attacks: Foul fighting; Reasoning; Kitbagging; Blaming; Criticism; Ridiculing continued
January 17, 2009Kitbagging
Here one partner has an imaginary kitbag. Every little injury, every little offence, every little hurt is carefully stored in the kitbag. At the time nothing much is said. The person who uses this technique usually suffers in silence — until the kitbag is full. Then when the next disagreement occurs (and usually it’s an [...]
Marital Attacks: Foul fighting; Reasoning; Kitbagging; Blaming; Criticism; Ridiculing
January 17, 2009Foul fighting
What is the function of a referee in a boxing match? Certainly not to stop the fighting. In fact when there’s a boxing match, two people will always be fighting. No, the referee is there to make sure that there is no foul fighting. It is quite alright for two people to fight, as [...]
Marriage, let’s Declare your wishes
November 24, 2008Marriage partners can hold widely differing opinions without necessarily experiencing conflict. A woman may think that a particular movie star is wonderful. Her husband may disagree completely — yet it would not create conflict because it wouldn’t affect any decisions that they would have to make.
How well do you really know your partner? Rate your understanding
November 18, 2008Most of us would prefer to be understood, rather than to understand, for real understanding requires hard work, determination and patience — and it is a never-ending task.
When intimate communication dies, the relationship dies — and when the relationship dies, we too die, as individuals. For instance, case histories have shown that infants who had [...]
Enrich our Marriages, Telling it like it is part 3
November 13, 2008Be specific — avoid generalisations
Words like “never” and “always” are usually not true (I was tempted to say “are never true”). When a wife says to her husband, “You never show me any affection,” she is leaving herself wide open to being proved incorrect, because the husband will probably remind her that several weeks ago [...]
