Older people and children are often sick
As a basic principle we should not ascribe any deterioration in health to a specific age group. We have been brainwashed for years to believe that children are forever vomiting, teething, snivelling or running temperatures, while older people have arthritis, fragile bones, stiffness, as well as poor sight and hearing.
Anyone of any age may fall ill or have an accident, but we all get over it. The chances of recovery does not depend on our age, but on:
- Our constitution
- the effectiveness of treatment given
- the severity of the condition
- our attitude towards being out of commission temporarily
- our pain threshold
- our previous experience with illness
- our confidence in our own healing capacity
- the empathy we receive during illness.
We all handle illness differently. The statement that older people and children are often sick is not true. I know many young adults who are often sick and many old people who are fit, active and healthy. Children may have accidents fairly regularly, simply because they haven’t yet mastered the negotiation of tricky steps or steep inclines, for example, or learned to carry two objects simultaneously. It is important to realise how unimportant age is. It leads to therapeutic optimism – which enables us to believe that the right treatment will produce positive results at no matter what age (unless of course the disease is severe).
It is a disservice to older people to assume that because they’re old there’s no hope for them. Encouraging an older person to remain, or to become fit in old age is a far more helpful and practical approach.
Older people and children think only of themselves
We need to think well of ourselves at all stages of our lives. It gives us confidence and direction. If it appears that older people and children are preoccupied with themselves, it is merely because the older person has, at last, more time actually to consider the self and make sure it remains intact during
The lateryears, when their colleagues and the rest of the family are no longer actively giving reinforcement. The child is in the process of building a self-image and constant reassurance is the foundation upon which this is made possible. So for both old and young the perception of self is a bit fragile and needs shoring up. The middle generation is getting subtle feedback from colleagues, friends, sport club members, bridge club members, career and business associates, lovers, spouses, parents and children. Because the network is wider, they don’t need to think about their own egos so obviously. There are of course some adults who think only of themselves. Selfish people occur among all age groups.
Older people and children fear the same things
Each and every one of us have emotions which have “toxic” components. These are emotions such as fear, frustration, boredom, low self-esteem and so on. The degree to which they prey on us varies from person to person. But we tend to push all fears, regardless of whether they originate in childhood or not, or whether they are the same, onto two exclusive groups – the old and the young.
The only common denominator regarding fear is that it casts a shadow on the inner world of a human being. Older people fear disabling conditions, financial insecurity, the loss of loved ones, even loss of dignity. Children fear a host of totally different things – such as failing, being left out, darkness, the dentist, exams and so on.
Elderly people too often have too much time on their hands, too few responsibilities and too few opportunities to employ their skills. This combination gives fear fertile soil in which to flourish. Children very often fear as a learned response, or they fear your reaction to their behaviour.
Older people and children do not fear the same things. This generalisation is incorrect.
Older people and children cannot adjust, they always want their own way
The most intense period of adjustment occurs in our earlier and later lives. Older people have to adjust to diminishingstamina, a change of life style, loss of spouse, friends, loss of usefulness, and so on. Theirs is an enormous list of very reef and difficult adjustments which have to be negotiated. No onehas attended a training course or attained a degree in how to adjust to these losses. More often that not these adjustmentsare excessively painful, stressful and need a lenghty period of recuperation afterwards. It is possibly the most demanding battery of adjustment tests one will ever have to face.
Children too have stressful adjustments to make; adjustment to the routine and discipline of work, adjustment to a wider social environment, adjustment to taking on new responsibilities, to becoming adults, to learning and mastering skills, to external demands, parental expectations, internal demands, teacher expectations . . . The list is endless. Almost as soon as they’ve adjusted to one set of circumstances and begin to feel settled, the next stage of growth and development, with its incumbent adjustment requirements, is upon them.
As far as children and older people wanting their own way is concerned – well, wouldn’t it be lovely if we could all have our own way all the time? Whom do you know who don’t want things their own way? If you answer only older people and children“, I must ask you to re-examine your view honestly.
