Choosing the right best man can be a difficult task. The best man has quite a few important responsibilities to deal with before the wedding and on the big day itself and it’s not a job to be taken lightly. His main roles are the following:
- organise the stag night
- help you with your responsibilities, such as transport and menswear
- accompany you to the ceremony
- look after the rings on the day
- introduce the speeches at the wedding breakfast if you don’t have a toastmaster
- dance with the chief bridesmaid after the first dance
- settle any outstanding bills on the day, such as taxi fares or the band’s fee
- return any hired outfits after the wedding
- and last, but certainly not least, give a rip-roaring best man‘s speech.
On top of all that, he generally has to lend a hand wherever necessary, organise the ushers, look after any problems that may arise, get people together for the photographs at the reception, mingle with guests, dance with any female relatives who look like they’re dying for a spin on the dance floor, help tidy up at the end and try not to get too drunk — at least until after his speech.
Above all the best man‘s job is a supportive one, so don’t ask anyone who can be a bit unreliable or disorganised or who is simply very busy. It may be best not to choose someone you know is very shy, as the prospect of giving a speech may mean he gets no sleep for months before the wedding. Also, no matter how close a friend he is now, don’t ask anyone who has had a previous relationship with the bride — it might be a bit weird.
If your problem is that you have too many good candidates for the job, why not have two best men? They can organise the stag night together and then divide up the wedding day jobs. They could even give the speech as more of a double act. Alternatively, you may want a sister or a close female friend to be your best ‘man‘. The tradition of the best man came about in a time when it was considered unseemly to have friends of the opposite sex before marriage: in this day and age it’s obviously the norm. But make sure your bride is in agreement before you ask a female friend — she may not be keen on having another woman share the altar on her big day; equally she may be perfectly happy with it and even choose to be supported by a male usher instead of a bridesmaid.
