When a man loved a woman according to the old ways, he would go to work to provide for her and would willingly give up his life to protect her. That was his most precious gift to her. He did not rely on her to tell him what to do. If he loved her, he motivated himself to provide for her. That self-motivation expressed the extent of his love.
Because men knew what was expected of them and had been trained by their fathers and other mentors, women were not – required to tell a man their needs or ask for support. When a man loved a woman he offered his support as a provider. If he offered his support, then a woman knew he loved her.
Now women want things our fathers were not required to do. If a woman is to receive a new kind of support, she is required to educate her partner about her needs and to ask in pleasing ways for more.
If a woman is to receive support, she is required to educate her partner about her needs and to ask in pleasing ways for more.
Having to ask is not easy for women. If she has to ask, then it doesn’t feel like she is being loved. In addition, she really has had very little exposure to a woman asking for what she wants in a way that works. For this reason, I recommend first improving communication, and then beginning to practice the art of asking for more. Once there is good communication and a man begins to understand her feelings more deeply, he will automatically understand her problems better and will slowly but surely do more.
For centuries, the sign that a woman was loved was her not having to ask. Now, when a man appears to a woman as if he is not motivated to support her needs, it weakens her self-esteem and humiliates her. She feels that she is not worthy of his love.
In a similar way, when a man feels that he is unfairly being asked for more, he may not feel that his self-esteem is weak ended, but he certainly doesn’t feel like giving more. When he returns home from work, he will feel increasingly lifeless and lethargic.
It used to be that the squeaky wheel got oiled. Today, however, the squeaky wheel gets replaced. Asking for more can easily begin to sound like nagging. Men hate to hear it, and women hate to do it. Without understanding how to assist a man in taking the time to listen to her feelings, a woman is left with only two alternatives. She can become a martyr and settle for whatever she gets, or she can try demanding and nagging for more.
Neither alternative will work. To get the love and support she needs, it is crucial for a woman to focus on what is most essential. Ask him to listen, and gradually, over time, as he understands her feelings better, she can begin to ask for more physical support.
To sustain love and good feelings in a relationship, it is essential that a woman learn to express her feelings and needs in a way that can work for both the man and herself.
To sustain love and good feelings in a relationship, it is vital that a woman learn to express her feelings and needs in a way that can work for both her man and herself.
I am in no way suggesting that women not express themselves, hut I am saying that if they want to be heard and respected, advanced relationship skills and new job descriptions are definitely required.
Just as women underestimate the power of appreciation and positive reinforcement of a man‘s behavior, men underestimate the power of listening with empathy to a woman‘s feelings and then offering a little help and attention here and there. Most men have no idea of what women really need today. A little focused attention on her and her needs can go a long way.
