When a man opens up more than his mate, he can actually block her from feminine feelings. When a man begins to talk more, share more, and need more in a relationship than she, the woman actually begins to pull away and begins talking less, sharing less, and needing less.
The startling truth that I have discovered only in the past ten years is that the more a woman is dependent on her partner to talk and open up, the farther she gets from her female side. The more successful she is in opening up her partner and nurturing his female side, the less nurtured her female side will be. The more sensitive a man becomes in a relationship, the stronger a woman feels she has to be. Put simply, the more a man moves to his female side, the more a woman will feel driven to her male side. Instead of being more fulfilled, she will begin to pull away. Certainly, some sharing of feelings is fine, hut when the man begins to open up more than the woman, she will automatically begin to close down.
With this insight I eventually came to realize that the greatest gift I could give my clients was to help the men be successful in listening to the women. I would also help the women “prepare” them so that listening was not insurmountably difficult. Once a man eventually learned this skill, he didn’t get so upset with his female partner‘s feelings. Suddenly, women were feeling much safer and freer about expressing their feelings. Using this approach, couples quite quickly felt more successful in their relationships.
How Women Begin to Feel When Men Open Up
Let’s explore some of the diverse comments made by different women whose partners were more expressive of feelings than they themselves were. While not every woman will relate to each of these, they are very common, particularly to women who have lived with men who are more sensitive.
None of these women could have predicted that they would feel this way. Like many women, they thought that if their male partner would just open up they .would be in marital bliss.
How Women React to a Man‘s Sensitivities
The way a woman reacts to her partner‘s vulnerabilities is practically the opposite of how a man will respond to hers. If he hears her feelings and doesn’t feel blamed, then he cares and connects with his own female side. By listening to a woman share, a man can feel sensitive to her feelings and yet strong and determined to help.
When a woman listens to a man‘s feelings, she also becomes stronger but resents having to care more for him when she needs him to care for her.
This shift in women can be extremely gradual and hard to detect. As a man opens up, she is initially very impressed and finds his behavior endearing. Unfortunately, she eventually tires of it and turns off to him. Even when she wants to leave him, she will feel that it is “not him but her.” In many cases, however, it is because he opened up more than she did and she was simply turned off.
The bottom line here is that women are more fulfilled if their male partners reveal less but help them to reveal more. When a woman longs for a man to open up and be sensitive, she is really longing to open up and become more sensitive and vulnerable herself.
When a woman longs for a man to open up and be sensitive, she is really longing to open up and become more sensitive and vulnerable herself.
