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In some matter of letting go of a disenchanted lover, but in real-life situations, marital problems often involve complications and entanglements that make our task more difficult. For example, to those men and women who know their partners are having an affair. What should be the attitude of whose partners are being unfaithful? Whereas their infidelity would likely have been hidden a century ago, today it may be blatantly admitted and defended by the guilty. A recent popular song illustrates this justification of evil.

Torn Between Two Lovers

There are times when a woman has to say what’s on her mind,

Even though she knows how much it’s gonna hurt.

Before I say another word, let me tell you, I love you.

Let me hold you close and say these words as gently as I can.

There’s been another man that I’ve needed and I’ve loved.

But that doesn’t mean I love you less.

And he knows he can’t possess me and he knows he never will.

There’s just this empty place inside of me that only he can fill.

Torn between two lovers, feelin’ like a fool.

Lovin’ both of you is breaking all the rules.

You mustn’t think you failed me just because there’s someone else.

You were the first real love I ever had and all the things I ever said,

I swear they still are true.

For no one else can have the part of me I gave to you.

Couldn’t really blame you if you turned and walked away.

But with everything I feel inside, I’m askin’ you to stay.

Torn between two lovers, feelin’ like a fool

Lovin’ both of you is breaking all the rules.*

Isn’t that sweet? This little darling is sleeping with two men and obviously one of them is not her husband. That’s bad enough. Then she has the utter audacity to tell the man she married that her affair will be continuing. He has two choices in the matter: live with it or shove off. He wasn’t even asked for his opinion. She was determined to have her cake and ice cream too, or, if her husband preferred, she‘d settle for ice cream—with the other lover.

How about it, now? What would your answer be to this proposition? What if your husband has confronted you with the same dilemma. He is confused and doesn’t know which one of us he wants. He doesn’t want to lose you and says he still loves you and our three children, but he can’t give her up, either.

There is no shortage of husbands and wives who are torn between two (or more) lovers. Partners are openly engaged in sexual escapades. What do you do now?

Listed below are five suggestions that were offering advice to female victims of infidelity. This passive approach has been the ‘party line’ for several decades. Let me ask you to put yourself in such situation as you read these recommendations.

1. After you learn of your husband‘s infidelity, go to him and tell him again how much you love him. Tell him you don’t intend to let him go and, indeed, that you plan to fight for him. Your persistence will tell him that there might be a chance that you will shape up.
2. Tell your husband that you understand what he’s done, and indicate that you realize that you have given him some reason to be unfaithful. Do not label his behaviour sinful or immoral.
3. Ask God to reveal your specific failures that have led to your husband‘s unfaithfulness. When the answer comes, take this list of shortcomings to your husband and review it with him. Tell him specifically how you think you may have contributed to his need to find another lover and ask for his forgiveness.
4. Don’t expect quick improvement in your relationship with your husband. Your marriage has taken years to get into the mess it’s in, and it may take as long to recover. In the meantime, don’t ask your husband to stop seeing the other lover.
5. Continue treating your husband as the man of the house. Remind him he is still your husband and the father of your children. If he is not living at home, encourage him to eat his meals with you and the children when he wants to. Let him know you are ready to meet his sexual needs whenever he visits.